Still in search of true love

Now understood that love and feelings are two different things…..sometimes we confuse this two…..it creates havoc in our life…at this point nobody can understand me….truth is that ….i am confused….but i know i am not doing anything wrong….i have a boy friend but he hardly cares…he says he loves me…because of this reason i always end up with forgiving him….but had feelings for my best friend…..because i spend more time with him….i am comfortable with him….but its that….i know both these person are not meant for me……as one who dont even care for me and another…..cares for me but cant do anything about it…..i want a guy….who fear to loose me…..i have seen true love…my bro loves a girl truely hopefully he will get her…..today i am writting this not in any formal manner….its something which is going on in my mind….sharing things with strangers….gnt…hope that will get to know soon who is there for me…..

Advertisements

Friendship vs feelings….

I dont know whether i should feel this way or not….i have a group of five friends….but slowly and steadily…..i think i am feeling alienated as four of my friends have feeling for others…..i am not envy of them….i will be happy….if they will get engaged but somewhere i am feeling unwanted….i have never expected this from my friends….these four friends are the closest one in my life…..i should not interrupt in between….but i dont know how to react…..i am loosing my friends somewhere…..its very awkward when feelings comes in between friendship……hope that will never let them understand that how i am feeling…..they r happy….then i am also happy…..i cant be so selfish…..

A new start

Today,its beginning of a new chapter….a new guy….a new love….i cnt say i love him…but yupe he really cares for me a lot so….i am giving him a chance….he is sweet and moreover i wanna move on….i wanna forget my bad past experiences…..i need his love and caring to forget everything last night i had a talk with my ex….it was clear from that conversation that i must move on….so i did it….i followed the concept of let go….hopefully my decision is correct….

Luck……

Dont know how to start….writting after a long time….many things havw changed in my life……but my luck…huh….its the same….even my bad is bad……i dont know why the hell everything always went wrong with me only….there are two kind of person in our life….one who take out time from his busy schedule for us….one who dont even bother about his schedule when we need them….but surprisingly i dont have any with me…..i am alone totally alone….it feels horrible at times….i have everyone in my life but at the time of need i dont find anyone…..everyone is having their own issues and excuses….i always write when i get too much depressed….i love sharing my loneliness with strangers…..because even if you avoid me i dont know you…..but it hurts when your loved ones dont have time for you….every relation …everyone changes with time…..we mist not expect anything from anyone……thanks for listening to me…..feeling good after writting this…..feeling of the night thanks….

Crying….

Hi, tonight writting after a long time….as today…my tears are beyond my control…..i heard the news of my love getting married….its heart breaking….i dont know how to react….its as if….history is repeating itself….i am over once again….everything is ruined today….feeling depressed….wanna hug someone…as logically hugging someone for 20 seconds releases antidepressant….so…wow i m giving excuses….far away from my home..but my friends tried a lot to cheer me up….by singing stupid songs….doing stupid things but nothing worked….finally they slept….i m crying but have to accept the truth of my life….he told me everything….what he was expecting from me….i dont know….i am feeling helpless….i just said him congo for your marriage….and i just need to control my feelings….i end up by saying these mere words….but i wanna say you am…i love you a lot….please dont go….i will be all alone without you…you made me ubderstand what love is….when i lost all my trust from love….today you are leaving me all alone….i dont wanna loose you…i beg of you….dont go….dont do this to me….no one can ever love you like this…i show myself very strong and unbreakable in front of the world but i am broken from inside without you….please….try to understand my unsaid words and come back and just hug me i wanna melt in your arms…..

Unsaid feelings…..

I love you….am….you will never understand the intensity of my love….finally we are far apart….its true time brings us together and time makes us apart…..people changes like season….you changed….your feelings changed….you dont even care about me….i wanna talk to you….hug you hard and wanna say you how much i love you….i need you….but the last time we met….i was just staring at your eyes….trying to read your eyes….i am shocked….that you are helpless….you want to be with me….but you cant..as there is no future…..and you dont wanna hurt me….but why dont you understand you are hurting me….all i know….i love you

If You Need Me…

I feel the same

Thoughts From My Mind

I want to be someone’s escape.

I want their hand to hold and heart to love.

Forever.

I want to be an inspiration.

Through my words.

Through my actions.

But as I sit in my room and type

Behind these big white walls.

I wait for someone to need me.

Still, I am accompanied with silence

Even as the music plays.

Still, I type.

I type to a world that knows me not.

But I have hope.

I have hope that someday someone will need me.

And i’ll be here waiting.

View original post

struggling with love…..my desires…

am I in love?  over here nobody know me…so i feel safe to share my feelings with you people…as i am scared of known people as they hurts me a lot…i wanted a guy….who will understand me….take care of me…i dont want him to be with me always…but atleast when i need him he must be there with me…look money status…hardly bothers me…i have seen many successful person who got success in professional life but are not good in personal life…i am craving for love…i have never hurt anyone…and i know i deserve true love…but..i dont know why…my life is in mess….one of my reader or yupe she is now much more than a reader to me…she suggested me to move on…leaving everything which is tearing me apart…but i dont know why the hell i am unable to do so…he always make me understand that i will get hurt..if i love him…as he is not ready to get into any relation…but i dont know…things are clear in front of me…but yet i am not taking any stand….for the first time in my life…i am confused like hell….i love him…i expect him to be with me…always to love me…get committed with me…love forever….but i know all these are my mere dreams…and can never be fulfilled….i know you people will suggest me…to love myself….

Trueeee loveee…..i have never seen…have you???

Hi….good morning…i am back to ask everyone….does true love exist???like ghost like god….i have never felt or seen true love….some says…if someone loves you truely then he will never leave you…whatever might be the problem…but your lover will find a way out to be with you…some says no…love is sacrifice…even if we cant be together but we will love each other….but how to love each other when our beloved will be in need of us at that time we will be far away….then what love….for some love and marriage are two different thing…marrying someone and even after marriage and having kids they claim they yet love their beloved….is it true love??for some having sex and getting satisfied is love….but sex is a way of expressing your love…its not a core love….some says i fall for her at first sight….that means he is attracted by her beauty….but what if her beauty diminishes….then no love….love is related to heart….some wants to change her beloved then love her….but why cant they love the original one….is it true love? There is a huge difference between (I LOVE YOU BUT) & (BUT I LOVE YOU) former means i love you but cant be with you nd later one means  after everything also i love you nd will love you forever…wanna give you one example actually i am an indian…so sacrifices in love are seen quite commonly….so here we go……
Two people immensely in love but of different caste love each….but girls family was against their relation , her father pressurised her to marry a guy of their caste…after revolting a lot she agreed….but she and her boyfriend decided to continue their relation even after marriage….but is it right? Is it love?arent they spoiling many lives?i really cant find true love around myself these days….sharing coffees is not love…going in date is not love… having many gifts from your boyfriend is not love….but today we are happy with the materials only….as we can show these to others but feelings it cant be seen only be felt nd today we dnt have time to understand the feelings of others….whosever will read this post….a heartiest request from my side….please for two seconds close your eyes and think about your lover….what he or she feel about you and what you feel for them….give her a call nd share your feelings….life is too short so let your close people know what they meant for you….stay connected and stay well

I dont know….

Sometimes it happens i start isolating myself from the crowd, from my friends….there are billions of species on this earth..but why no one understand me….what i should do?should i stop trying to make others understand….feeling miserable…i know i must not feel like this….i knew expectations hurts…but yet i always start with expectations and end up with hurting myself….something inside me is hurting me….i cant explain it in words….what i am going through….at times i want to say many things….i want to hug him and cry out loud but i keep myself quite and calm….i prefer to sleep….as it helps me to forget everything…..no body can ever see my tears….sometimes….he shares his past….the time he miss his ex….it hurts me no…but tears roll over my eyes…but i control my tears just to cheer him up….

Previous Older Entries